Diane and Todd met at a young adult ministry in Shreveport, Louisiana, in spring 2023. Diane was already a leader in the ministry when Todd first came, which led her to invite him to a supplementary Bible study to encourage him to find relationships. After a few conversations in group, they quickly formed a friendship. Diane quickly developed romantic feelings for Todd, however, he was unsure if she was interested in anything except retro science fiction shows and drawing pictures in her Bible. So after a conversation in which Diane directly insulted him, his professional musical endeavors, intellectual capacity, and anything that is good in his life, the conversation stalled. This was in part due to a busy work schedule keeping him away from any ministry events for six weeks, but the damage had seemingly been done. This led Diane’s prayer life to involve a lot of repentance, in which she begged the Almighty God to not let her thoughtlessness intrude on Todd’s ability to enjoy the benefits of a young, biblical community.
“I wasn’t praying for him to come back just to date me!” Diane recounts, often when friends are trying to push her buttons. “I just wanted him to not have YALA [the young adults ministry] ruined for him.”
As they are now getting married this seems unlikely. However both Todd and Diane believe that God laughs as much as they do when telling the story. They did eventually have more conversations, discussing everything from media, (Diane’s professional specialty) music, (Todd’s professional specialty), and the Bible, (something core to each of them). They also discussed memes and fandom knowledge.
After a few choice encounters (ask them about the red dress incident), they eventually started dating. They have since decided that their individual ministries following God is best served together. They are expanding their individual discipleships as the metaphor described in Ephesians 5; Bride and Groom are to display a love that amplifies Christ and the Church.
Todd From Diane’s Perspective
So, for a back story on me, there was a wonderful friend of mine named Linda Rhodes. She was so fun to be around, and had the sweetest welcoming spirit. She was one of the people I trusted to write me a blessing for when I turned 18. I had many wonderful mentors and loved ones write me amazing encouragements to and about God, but of everyone who wrote something, she was the only one to pray over my relationships. She wrote, “May you be so ‘hidden’ in God that whomever wishes to find you, must first find God.”
I have always been encouraged to study biblical principles for marriages, but the passage that has impacted me the most wasn’t explicitly about romance. Proverbs 19:22 says, “What is desirable in a man is his kindness. Better a poor man than one who utters lies.” (NASB95) This is something I prayed back to God for almost a year and a half before meeting Todd. It changed my outlook on dating, and is still something I cling to in times of stress.
I don’t fully remember the first time I met Todd. It wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, I learned to love him slowly, even though it didn’t take long for him to catch my attention. The earliest thing I remember about Todd is that I was having a hard day and smiling was easier around him. He was relaxed and trying to get to know everyone as he was new to YALA [Young Adults of Louisiana]. He’s almost effortlessly funny, and has a lot of interests in many things. It didn’t take me long to realize that he has a gentle spirit. Gentle as in strength under control, not ever to be confused as weakness or passivity. He’s loud, unfazed by social situations, and is just as mischievous as I am. My voice is a quiet timbre and doesn’t carry well in many situations, but he’s the opposite. He doesn’t need a bass trombone to get someone’s attention.
The first thing that really caught my attention was his biblical understanding. We were talking about the Old Testament book of Ruth, and he brought up several points that I had discussed at length on a podcast with my mother. It is unusual to find someone who can keep up with me, so it was highly attractive. It didn’t hurt that the subject matter was also about how a man and a woman are ultimately compatible because of their individual relationships with God. This spiritual connection continues to be one of my favorite aspects of our relationship. He’s so good at encouraging me to go deeper with the Lord. It doesn’t matter if it’s a worship experience or a coffee date with a gal pal, he continues to point me to following God closer.
Next I discovered our intellectual connection. It was a few weeks later when we were at an “after eats” with the YALA Bible study that we got into an interesting conversation about our thoughts on education, escapist fiction, and musical taste. Todd is a professional musician, but his musical taste is so much more than what he typically plays. He’s an excellent singer, but his playlists are all over the genre map. So are mine, but they overlap enough that we have gotten many roadtrip playlists of new music each.
We are not the same person, but we tend to compliment each other well. When I need to be the firm stance he’s the soft one. When I need to be the quiet one he’s the loud one. I could never ask for a better partner in anything. He has also beaten me to every important conversation in the relationship. Everything from “Do you want to get dinner some time?” to “What are your boundaries as we move forward in an intentional relationship?” Has been initiated by him. I did ‘like’ him first (I’m really as bad as a schoolgirl), but he absolutely loved me first.
The best way to encapsulate this would be our 5 C’s. All coined by him.
“In this house we value:
Curiosity
Clarity
Comfort
Commitment
but most importantly,
Our Creator”
He has always prioritized learning together, communicating well, sharing burdens while maintaining boundaries, serving each other as God would have us encourage one another, but most importantly, loving God to our fullest potential. Todd is a blessing from the Lord, and an excellent example of how a Godly man should walk.
Diane From Todd’s Perspective
I fell in love with Diane in three different ways, on three different occasions. These are those stories.
(Insert sound effect from Law and Order here)
My first few interactions with Diane were fairly standard. Boy meets girl. Girl insults boy. Boy coincidentally has to work for six weeks in a row. Girl gets worried. Girl prays for boy to come back. God probably cracks his knuckles, and says It's showtime. That story will be told elsewhere above.
In the Young Adults of Louisiana (or YALA) ministry, one of the staple phrases is “Community doesn't stop in this room” referring to the worship service or Bible study, and meaning that there is almost always a planned outing to eat with people from this ministry afterwards. This is, very originally, called After-Eats. After a Thursday night Bible study, a group of us went to Newk’s Cafe, and somehow the conversation came to memories from high school, and Diane started talking about her perspective as a homeschooler. I remember thinking that was interesting just because it was such a different chain of events than what I had experienced from public school. We discussed the differences, and she utilized all of the tenets of a good debate: factual evidence, her own understanding, and only enough mudslinging to make the public-schoolers laugh. The conversation wove in a few different directions until we came to science fiction television. I have often referred to myself as a fan of the genre as a whole, but I quickly came to realize just how shallow my knowledge pool really was in comparison to Diane's. These facts, that she was knowledgeable and passionate about education AND nerdy pastimes, piqued my interest in getting to know her further. I didn't put it together at the time, but this was intellectual love.
The second love level that was unlocked was through common understanding of our faith. The Thursday night Bible study quickly grew to be the highlight of my week, because it is made up of people who are serious about digging through the old testament books of the bible to build context to the new testament. In this particular study, we were discussing the prophet Jonah and his book. One of our mutual friends had raised a question about the importance that the account of Jonah really happened and wasn't just an allegory to teach the children of Israel. I, along with a few others were probably about to jump in with the thoughts on biblical truth and sufficiency, but Diane beat us all to the punch by saying “I actually did a study on this exact question a few months ago, and here is a list of five definitive reasons for the Historicity of Jonah.” And then she masterfully explained through them. I was stunned by this quiet, young woman's biblical grasp and I knew at that point that were going to, at the very least, be able to discuss deep theological truths. I still didn't fully know it, but this was ecclesiastical love.
It's important to note that at this point, I was intrigued by Diane, but like a fool, was blind to her as a woman. The third and final step to this process was embarrassing at the time, but is nothing but entertaining looking back. A group of us had decided to go and see Spider-Man: Across the Spider-verse when it came out in theaters. Diane had suggested to the group that we dress up, and also had sent out which seats were available in the row for us to all sit together. I had two options, and I chose to get the ticket on the end of the row next to someone else instead of Diane. I get to the theater, wearing a very hastily put-together ensemble of gray cargo shorts and a black hoodie (in reference to the character of Miles Morales), and I go to my seat, and I am greeted by a mutual friend who dressed up in a trench coat and black fedora ala Spider Man Noir. Then, over her shoulder, I see an image of radiant beauty. Diane is there in a red dress, that hugged curves that I hadn't even thought of her having, while still being modest and ladylike and I am struck. Words would not come out. Thoughts were incoherent. As you can see from this narrative, I am a man of many words, but at that moment, they all deserted me. She had mascara spiderwebs drawn on her cheeks, and just enough mascara to make her eyes pop like two sapphire ships sailing over the bluest oceans. In that moment, the intrigue snapped into interest, and I finally knew that this was the woman I must pursue. I have a feeling that God looked down, grinned, and said to himself, “Well, it took you long enough, Son.” And then I had to sit through an entire movie, awkwardly and regretfully, with someone else in-between Diane and I. I was mentally kicking myself, but I found out later that she paid her own price, by unintentionally bringing home several fallen popcorn kernels.
Describing Diane can only be accomplished by using a set of parameters with three points of focus: Intelligence, Faith, and Humor. Oftentimes, people tend to only have one or two, but struggle with the third. For instance, we all know someone who is intelligent and has a deep biblical understanding but is boring in conversation, or someone who is intelligent and fun to be around, but is very shallow in faith. Diane is enigmatic in that she somehow manages all three. She is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met, AND is more biblically understanding and mission minded than anyone else my age that I know, AND if that wasn't enough, she is endlessly entertaining. Her compassion and kindness overflow and she makes jokes that you can't help but belly laugh at. Diane is also quick to welcome people in and share her wisdom with anyone who seeks it. There are so many things that I could say about her, but the best synopsis is that in the short time I have known her, she has become my best friend, my biggest supporter, and her presence is what I consider to be home.
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